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BREAKING NEWS : MELANIA WILL BE "ESCORTING" ALL THE SHIPS FROM WHORMUZ

THE WAR IS OVER. IRAN IS OBLITERATED. NO MILITARY AT ALL. PLEASE HELP US NATO!

BREAKING NEWS MELANIA WILL "ESCORT" ALL SHIPS FROM WHORMUZ

WAR IS BULLISH BABY! CALLS ALL THE WAY!

Guys I’m from 2 minutes in the future ITS FUCKIN OVER WERE ALL BROKE

ALL IN ON OIL, tankers and logistics 😛😛😛

If I buy $100 of USO I can GUARANTEE AN IMMEDIATE CEASEFIRE AND END OF ALL HOSTILITIES.

NO CEASEFIRE. IRANS BEEN NAUGHTY THIS YEAR, NEED A GOOD SPANKING LIKE ALL NAUGHTY CHIDREN DO

PRAISE BE TO SALMA HAYEK, SOMETHING WE CAN ALL GET “BEHIND” TO PRAISE AMIRIGHT? 🍑

I BET ALL MY MONEY ON RED

LOL, APPARENTLY IF YOU CLICK ON A LINK THAT SAYS GHAE MODS GHAE TIMES, IT TRIGGERS A REDDIT BUG THAT LEAVES ALL THE COMMENTS IN CAPS. WHAT A JOKE, IM NOT FALLING FOR IT.

BREAKING NEWS : MELANIA HAS BEEN GIVEN THE TASK TO "ESCORT" ALL SHIPS FROM HORMUZ

Yo WTF?!? I just took a massive deuce and the bowl was clean when it first started swirling down the bowl during the flush then it FUCKING SMEARED ALL OVER THE BOWL and now there’s a huge turd streak down my perfectly clean commode 😡

####I'm literally **ALL IN** on PUTS 🤡 we are going into a long recession buckle up

####I'm literally **ALL IN** on PUTS 🤡 we are going into a long recession buckle up

# FUCK YOU ALL

Mango turning into Randy Quaid from "Days of Thunder". YOU'RE FIRED, YOU'RE FIRED....YOU'RE ALL FIRED!!!

Iran holds ALL the cards lol

My buddy in the marine core just got deployed so kinda doubt US is gonna withdraw over the weekend (ALL IN PUTS) 💀

THATS IT, SPY 645 0DTE PUTS ALL IN

# BERS BLEW A HUGE LEAD TODAY LMAO 🤌 ok tbf this market is so manipulated, both bols and bers just randomly get fuk for no reason ARREST ALL OF THEM

I know he's going to do his ITS ALL FINE, IRAN HAS SURRENDERED thing at exactly 4.10PM

IT WOULD MAKE THE MOST SENSE FOR THE MARKETS TO RETURN ALL THE GAINS FROM THE PAST TWO DAYS THATS WHY ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

SAD!!! YOU ARE ALL PANICANS, EVERYTHING IS GREAT IF YOU DONT LOOK AT OIL

#I AM GOING ALL IN ON PUTS AT THE OPEN 🤡 🤡 🤡

JUST HAD A GREAT TALK WITH MR IRAN. ALL IS COOL. STRAIGHT TO BE OPENED WITHIN MINUTES. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! SPY+4%

#ABANDON ALL HOPE, FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!

IT WOULD MAKE THE MOST SENSE TO RETURN ALL THE GAINS FROM THE PAST TWO DAYS THATS WHY ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN

HE GOT YOU ALL. TRICKS ARE FOR KIDS 🐰

To be perfectly honest, if you were betting your hard earned money on the conviction that the war is GENUINELY over... ALL of it needs to be separated from you for a vast multitude of reasons.

#"ALL THAT'S GOING TO BE LEFT IS NUCLEAR WASTE AND HUMAN ASHES" WTF

SELL IT ALL. TONIGHT.

IS HE ABOUT TO RESIGN? TF IS THIS ALL ABOUT

IM TIRED OF ALL THE WINNING MR PRESIDENT

#ALL THESE BEARS ON COPIUM THAT 🥭 IS GOING TO SAY A GROUND INVASION WILL HAPPEN. BEARS IN COMPLETE SHAMBLES SOUNDING MORE DELUSIONAL THAN TSLA BULLS LOL

#STOOPID BEARS NEVER HAPPY, THEY'LL MAKE MONEY ON PUTS FOR WEEKS, GET GREEDY AND LOSE IT ALL, THEN CRY THE MARKET MAKES NO SENSE LOL

I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT ALL MAGIC CARPETS TO BE MADE IN THE USA

BEARS TRAPPED BULLS TRAPPED. YOURE ALL TRAPPED 🤡🤡🤡🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

WE ALL KNOW A MASSIVE V GONNA HIT ANY MOMENT TO FUK PUTS

REMEMBER HOW FOR THE LAST 4 WEEKS GHEY BERS TOOK EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO RUB IT IN YOUR FACE? AND NOW THEY'RE ALL IN THE COMMENTS SALTY AF BECAUSE THEY CAN'T TAKE IT WHEN ITS ON THEM! I REMEMBER!

PRIDE COMETH BEFORE THE FALL. WHEN THIS MARKET TANKS YOU WILL ALL BE KISSING MY ASS LIKE BIN SALMAN

This two-day fake pump is to draw in retail for an epic dump after the POTUS speech tonight. Not manipulated. AT ALL 🤣

Doesn’t matter if you’re ber or bol, we’re ALL laughing at MSFT bag holders

I'm kind of getting the impression that it isn't ALL lying and he legit doesn't even know what is going on

It’s like right before Russia/Ukraine. Deny deny deny even though ALL evidence is there to show what’s bout to go down.

How big is the straight, really? Like half the size of Connecticut? The US military should be able to police ALL of Connecticut.

SPY 660 calls ALL IN

LIFETIME SUPPLY OF BLOWJOBS FOR ALL INCLUDED

DIE DIE DIE SACRIFICE IT ALL 

ALL MAJOR MOVES HAPPEN AFTER THE MARKET CLOSES SORRY PEASANTS