AM

I AM PERHAPS THE GREATEST WSB USER TO HAVE EVER LIVED

#Most insane trade of 2026 At 6:50 AM ET today, $1.5 BILLION in notional value worth of S&P 500 futures contracts were bought. This trade was so large it sent the entire index +0.3% higher that minute. Then, 14 minutes later at 7:04 AM ET, President Trump announced "productive discussions" with Iran were underway. By 7:10 AM ET, the S&P 500 had added +$2 TRILLION in market cap. That $1.5 billion position gained +$60 million in minutes. Absolutely incredible.

oooh and I bet they looked good even until this AM

I was going to buy puts but instead I sold call credit spreads because I AM BECOMING AN ADULT. Do you hear that MOM??

Repeat after me: I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSE- oh wait wrong sentance - ALL BIG MOVES HAPPEN PRE AND POST MARKET

You already have a bet going - SPY to 652.0 before 24-Mar-2026 08:20 AM -05

I AM PLEASED TO REPORT MY ACCOUNT IS GREEN FOR NOW

Remember you only got in the bull trap if you sell. Otherwise you’re “going long” Unless you bought 0DTE calls after 7 AM

At 7:04 AM ET today, President Trump said “the US and Iran have had productive discussions" to end the Iran War. By 7:10 AM ET, the S&P 500 surged +240 points adding +$2 TRILLION in market cap. 27 minutes later, Iran completely denied all of President Trump's claims and said there has been "no contact" with the US. By 8:00 AM ET. the S&P 500 had fallen -120 points erasing -$1 trillion in market cap.

**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/OftenOlives** bet **SPY** goes from **662.16** to **630.0** before **30-Mar-2026 11:04 AM EDT** Their record is 1 wins and 0 losses. [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)

#Get ready for the 10:00 AM Algos

10:00 AM and 10:30 we shall see the market's true colors

time for the daily AM double espresso and 6mg zyn combo to get the traffic in my colon moving 💩

I AM A GOONAAA. GOONIN ALL DAAAAY

**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/BagHoldersOfAmerica** bet **SPY** goes from **660.74** to **654.13** before **24-Mar-2026 08:55 AM EDT** Their record is 4 wins and 2 losses. [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)

**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/jda823** bet **USO** goes from **111.12** to **113.35** before **24-Mar-2026 08:51 AM EDT** Their record is 2 wins and 0 losses. [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)

Market manipulation plain and simple > Trump says talks held on 'complete and total resolution of hostilities' with Iran published at 07:12 07:12 BREAKING Donald Trump says there have been "productive conversations" about a "complete and total resolution" to the conflict in the Middle East. He says he will "postpone any and all strikes against Iranian power plants and energy infrastructure" for a five day period.  In a post on TruthSocial all in capital letters, reproduced here in full and verbatim, he says: "I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST.  "BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP" Update 11:35 GMT: President Trump subsequently reposted this statement on TruthSocial with some typos corrected

**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/Lanky-Ad-4579** bet **USO** goes from **115.05** to **120.8** before **30-Mar-2026 08:14 AM EDT** Their record is 17 wins and 1 losses. [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)

You already have a bet going - SPY to 630.0 before 29-Mar-2026 08:28 AM -05

"I AM PLEASE TO REPORT" ...

I AM PLEASE TO ANNOUNCE THAT YOUR CALL R FUK. PUTS AT OPEN.

You already have a bet going - SPY to 635.0 before 24-Mar-2026 03:23 AM -05

IRAN STATE TV: NO DIRECT OR INDIRECT TALKS WITH TRUMP FROM BLOOMBERG TV 7:50 AM EST

Cramer said, “Bull rules for AM.”

**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/Sad-Airman** bet **SPY** goes from **658.63** to **652.04** before **24-Mar-2026 07:50 AM EDT** Their record is 21 wins and 5 losses. [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)

Iran says no talks lol Bols 7:13 AM-7:44 AM. RIP.

>I AM PLEASE TO ANNOUNCE Okay, yeah, puts at open.

I AM PLEASE TO ANMOUNCE THE US WILL NOT BE BOMBING IRAN POWER INFRASTRUCTURE BECAUSE ISRAEL IS ALREADY DOING IT. ONE OF THEIR DEAD LEADERS WAS SEEN HOLDING A WHITE HANKERCHIEF IN SATELLITE PHOTOS WHICH I AM CONSIDERING AS TOTAL SURRENDER. ALSO, I TOLD ERIC AND DON JR TO BUY CALLS ON FRIDAY IN ANTICIPATION OF THIS TWEET RIGHT BEFORE THE MARKET OPENS.

Friday PM and Monday AM*

“I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST,” Trump said in a Truth Social post. “I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD.”

I AM PLEASE TO ANNOUNCE WITCH 🧙

Edibles after a workout is top tier but I don’t usually workout in the AM. Today I did. Godspeed 🫡

@realdonaldtrump **”I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST.”** Source: r/oldpeoplefacebook

**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/Rolling_in_the_Dip** bet **SPY** goes from **661.81** to **827.26** before **25-Mar-2026 07:31 AM EDT** Their record is 1 wins and 28 losses. [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)

I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! The original masterpiece minus his signature due to the warning box.

I AM PLEASED TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WHICH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! Update Not sure what he changed but he deleted the first one.

**Ban Bet Created:** **/u/CosecSecCot** bet **SPY** goes from **660.24** to **640.0** before **28-Mar-2026 07:21 AM EDT** Their record is 0 wins and 2 losses. [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)

I AM PLEASE TO REPORT

I AM PLEASE TO REPORT I AM A DUMBASS

In a post on TruthSocial all in capital letters he says: "I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST.

Anyone curious why we randomly just pumped? This was posted on truth social like 12 minutes ago: “I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP”

I AM SHOCKED BY THESE OCCURRENCE SHOCKED I TELL YOU NO ONE SAW THIS COMING Thank you for your attention to this sarcasm

> I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP

Damn I was gonna buy the dip this AM lol

Breaking: Mango just posted on Truth TRUMP: I AM PLEASED TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP

I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP

>I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP Attempted TACO, let's see if it sticks lol

I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP

I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!