FUND

Robinhood outta cash again. Someone setup a go fund me page for them.

After an absolutely smashing record of a year trading my entire portfolio like a ferret on Tylenol, I am now almost rivaling the long term performance of an S+P index fund.

Everything’s fine. Ai Capex will flex seal this problem. https://www.moneyweb.co.za/news/international/fed-staff-query-missing-1-4trn-hedge-fund-treasuries-pile/

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2025-10-17/fed-staff-query-missing-1-4-trillion-hedge-fund-treasuries-pile Fed made an oopsie daisies and found out they undercounted how much debt is owned on the Cayman Islands by 1.4 trillion. Oh and would you look at that it's owned by a bunch of bottom feeders funds leveraged 100 to 1 on bond futures going down and bond treasuries going up. This can only end well I think!

Well boys, looks like I'm selling my car to fund the brokerage account now. My last asset.

I wanna buy TSLA puts so badly, but no cash. Elon will start selling soon to fund xAI.

I would like to announce I stepped back into options today. Made $1000 on puts and yesterday I moved my entire 401k into the stable fund. CHEERS TO THE FINANCIAL RAPTURE

There goes my kids college fund. They’re too dumb to go to college anyway.

They announced a $2B partnership to fund their fuel facilities! https://www.tradingview.com/news/reuters.com,2025:newsml_L3N3VY0V8:0-oklo-to-receive-up-to-2-billion-investment-from-newcleo/

Who’s making a donation to a hedge fund today? I am feeling frisky!! 😈

Whenever we get a premarket like today, I'm reminded of the interview where a coked up Jim Cramer reminisced of his time managing a hedge fund.

Sure, it has but the financial situation for US has to dramatically improve for gold to go the other way. The world is buying gold because they don't believe the US can service its debt without money printing, so dollar will inflate. The fact the US can't even fund its government right now tells you how much financial trouble it is in.

Every professionally managed fund on the planet. Today is payday and all those 401k got a deposit. Being in here makes you think WSB actually matters. It does but only on memes.

I should have just bought a shit ton of some bogglehead mutual fund — I could sleep well at night instead of watching futures inverse me at midnight.

Welcome to America's favorite gameshow, Are You Smarter Than a Hedge Fund?

Hey guys beware of a certain "Trust Fund Baby" he goes by the name "cashflow" watch out!!!

I just wanna be my own trust fund baby

Been buying shit I think the brainworm will shill/fund like gene therapy and monoclonal antibody companies because the real market is ass

Gold and PM’s are stockpiled by governments to fund wars Gold and silver are also used in manufacturing electronics/weaponry  That’s why the price is skyrocketing plus FOMO from retail Crazy shits about to go down 

I work for Uncle Sam. He matches my retirement virgin fund 5%

Fertility is bullish. Population growth to fund the stock market ponzi

He's going to announce his new Crypto project, Charlie Coin. Barron will be the fund manager

just hold my hand and repeat after me, it’ll be okay it’ll be okay America won’t let my retirement fund crash

Insiders know that this call isn't going well. You know someone on the call is tipping of their hedge fund and banking buddies

VanEck dismissed concerns about an artificial intelligence (AI) bubble, emphasizing that the current surge in AI adoption is fundamentally different from the speculative frenzy of the late 1990s dot-com era. According to the exchange traded fund provider, today’s AI expansion is underpinned by tangible profits and significant infrastructure commitments rather than hype-driven speculation. During the dot-com boom, the investment institution said startups raced for growth with limited revenue and easy access to venture capital, often without sustainable business models. In contrast, the AI wave is being powered by some of the world’s most profitable technology companies, which are reinvesting substantial free cash flow into long-term infrastructure projects essential to maintaining competitiveness in the AI era.

Billionaire David Tepper of Appaloosa Dumped His Fund's Stake in Broadcom and 14X'd His Position in a Polarizing Healthcare Stock UNH!!!!

10% of my 401k fund is in TSM.

No shit. It's not for sale... I have a company with 1 partner that we do it under. My background pre trading was competitive programming. I do it on crypto markets due to the ease of access to those markets. Arbitrage is 0 sum and doesn't really need funding. We just self fund it all, and our niche corner of the market is more or less completely captured by us. We don't even tell people where we operate - that's a fools game and invites competition.

Should I tell my pregnant wife that I lost the entire house fund or try to make it back fuck oh fuck

If there also could be an inverse 3X fund to WSBR, I would surely own it..

Can we create an ETF called WSBR where the fund doesn't hold anything and just buys purely calls or purely puts depending on the day, moon cycles, and the weather? Feel like itd be game changing

Bought a ton of GEO, and a lil SBUX and LMT. They just look like bargains right now. Oh, sold most of my tech shit to fund it. Just seems like a good exit point, I'll buy back in next time we say something stupid about tariffs.

A good index fund for retiring includes 1.5% swings up and down every fucking day of the week

How can an index fund move like this, like is this for real? #WTF SPY

I wish i was one of these big fund managers, Rug pulling the entire market seems fun

I've been working (to fund my gambling addiction), are we drilling on something specific

Just remember that Bessent was a hedge fund manager

Lol, us dumping after that pump broke my spirit and got me to cash out everything from Robinhood is just the final kick in the nuts I deserve. I guess the cash that's settling can be used to buy fractionally more index fund shares once they get over to Fidelity.

OpenAI is going to destroy Onlyfans, why pay $9.99 a month for a bitchy-ass OF snob when you can create your own AI girl with perfect ass/tits and no ugly tattoos that will do anything you ask? Sam Altman knows where the money is to fund his AI empire and pay all these multi-billion contracts.

The fund manager is more regard then us

amd bers gonna have a long talk at this years christmas on how they blew the trust fund on amd 0dtes AGAIN LMAO 🤌

I had no idea “alpha male boot camps” were an unironically real thing until today. I can actually charge dudes 20,000 dollars to do a bunch of gay shit for three days and then send them off with a certificate? I know what’s gonna fund my gambling from now on

Which means I’m about 1 more quarter until my clients want a gold fund or ETF in their 401k investment menus.

calling MSTY an 'income fund' is basically false advertising at this point

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%

If bezos can stop selling his AMZN shares to fund his wife’s plastic surgery and his fucking blue origin company, maybe AMZN might go up instead of being a dogshit stock

Multi-tiered, triggering, but interesting thought: I would love to see a study on the correlation of video game hours played to income earned (non trust fund)

Puts at the right time are eventually going to make some hedge fund billions on these things

>PAUL TUDOR JONES SEES FED FUND RATE AT 2.5 OR 2.75 IN A YEAR Sir ill take as many fixed rate loans as I can And I'll buy physical gold with it

Tell him you’re starting an AI company so he loans you 30% of the fund