ARE

BRUH LMAO WHAT ARE WE DOING

WE ARE FUCKED MY LITTLE GREMLINS

i wish there were a place on the internet where mentally challenged gambling addicts congregate to shitpost... wait a minute, who ARE you people???

> purgatory HELL. THIS IS HELL. WE ARE IN HELL.

THERE ARE RUMORS GOING AROUND THAT IM GOING TO HAVE A LOBOTOMY. THIS IS FALSE AND UNTRUE. I AM GOING TO HAVE A RADIOFREQUENCY ABLATION OF MY SACRAL SYMPATHETIC NERVES UNDER SEDATION (PROPOFOL THE GOOD STUFF) THIS HAS NITHING TO DO WITH A LOBOTOMY SO DONT DAY IT AGAIN DONT EVEN TRY ME THANKS

WHAT ARE MY MOVES TOMORROW? SEE BERS GET FUKD ANOTHER DAY

MARKET MAKERS ARE GONNA FUCK YOUR NBIS STOCK AND CALLS AFTER MARKET SO HARD THAT YOU WISHED THEY USED LUBE. MARK THESE WORDS! LMFAO

YOU PASTE THE URL INTO \[YOUR\_AI\] AND TELL IT TO SUMMARIZE WHY ARE YOU DINOSARS ACUALLY OPENING A BLOOMBERG LINK

TRUMP ADDS, IN COMMENTS TO MACRON BROADCAST ON VIDEO PUBLISHED BY FRENCH PRESIDENCY: I THINK WE ARE HAVING A TREMENDOUS IMPACT ON THE WORLD. LMFAO[](https://x.com/DeItaone/status/2031749544493396040)

TRUMP ADDS, IN COMMENTS TO MACRON BROADCAST ON VIDEO PUBLISHED BY FRENCH PRESIDENCY: I THINK WE ARE HAVING A TREMENDOUS IMPACT ON THE WORLD. an impact for sure but a negative one. especially on everyone's 401k

BOLS ARE FUK

# BOLS ARE SO DAMN EMBARRASSING OMFG # ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭

The tankers being hit by drones is a nothing burger THERE ARE MINES IN THE STRAIT

You mean shelter, utilities and groceries that ARE included? Wtf are you talking about?

PUT YOUR HANDS UP SnowyMountainTops!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

War still going on. Oil production reduced for weeks to come at a minimum. Jobs data still bad, even unrevised. Private credit still rekt. *YET THE MARKETS ARE UP* This is a divergence you can use to your advantage. The market is out of step from reality

ayyyy what'd I say EU COMMISSION SPOKESPERSON: WE ARE EXPLORING SUBSIDISING OR CAPPING THE GAS PRICE

PUT YOUR HANDS UP JustFuckingSendIt!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

#WELCOME WELCOME. REMEMBER THESE MOMENTS THAT ARE HAD RIGHT BEFORE THE LARGEST MARKET CRASH IN AMERICAN HISTORY 🚨🚨🚨

Senator Chris Murphy after closed door meeting: 3/ Second, they confirmed "regime change" is also NOT on the list. So, they are going to spend hundreds of billions of your taxpayer dollars, get a whole bunch of Americans killed, and a hardline regime - probably a MORE anti-American hardline regime - will still be in charge. 4/ Ok, so what ARE the goals? It seems, primarily, destroying lots of missiles and boats and drone factories. But the question that stumped them: what happens when you stop bombing and they restart production? They hinted at more bombing. Which is, of course, endless war. 5/ And on the Strait of Hormuz, they had NO PLAN. I can't go into more detail about how Iran gums up the Strait, but suffice it say, right now, they don't know how to get it safely back open. Which is unforgiveable, because this part of the disaster was 100% foreseeable.

u/cashflow_ THE WHOLE WORLD IS WONDERING, WHERE ARE YOU GOING TONIGHT

IEA PROPOSES LARGEST EVER OIL RELEASE FROM STRATEGIC RESERVES -- WSJ COUNTRIES ARE EXPECTED TO DECIDE ON PROPOSAL WED : WSJ IEA PROPOSAL WOULD EXCEED 182M BARRELS OF OIL: WSJ

**WE WILL ESCORT THOSE SHIPS THROUGH THE STRAIT WITH THE HELP OF THE NAVY** *checks phone* **NEVERMIND, WE WILL BACKSTOP THE INSURANCE FOR THE TANKERS WITH 20BILLION** *checks phone* **WE'RE JUST DOING A QUICK EXCURSION TO IRAN, NOTHING BIG** *checks phone* **WE WILL RAIN FIRE AND DEATH DOWN ON IRAN** *checks phone* **THE WAR IS PRETTY MUCH DONE, ALMOST. KINDA SORTA ALREADY COMPLETE.** *checks phone* **WE ARE HOPING TO NEGOTIATE PEACE WITH IRAN** *checks phone* **IRAN NEEDS TO STOP LAYING MINES, ITS VERY UPSETTING** *checks phone*

FUCK. SO ARE WE BASICALLY A PAPER TIGER LIKE RUSSIA. LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOING TO HAVE THE SAME FATE, TOO DUMB TO REALIZE THAT DRONE WARFARE WAS THE FUTURE WHEN FUCKING UKRAINE FIGHTS THEM EVERYDAY. BRAIN DEAD MILITARY. LOOKS LIKE THE ENTIRE WORLD WILL BE POOR AF VERY SOON. HUMANS ARE THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE SPECIES.

DO PEOPLE ACTUALLY THINK IT WILL GET SO BAD THAT WE WILL REQUIRE MINE REMOVAL ROBOTS TO GET THROUGH HORMUZ BUT AT THE SAME TIME INSURERS WILL FREELY UNDERWRITE THESE PASSAGES AS LONG AS WE JUST REMOVE THE MINES???? WHY THE FUCK ARE THESE SHITCOS PUMPING

BEARS IN 🐻🐻 WHERE ARE MY TWINKS

ORACLE CORP OUTLOOK FOR FISCAL YEAR 2026, WE EXPECT REVENUE OF $67 BILLION & CAPITAL EXPENDITURES OF $50 BILLION. ORACLE CORP - FOR FISCAL YEAR 2027, WE ARE RAISING TOTAL REVENUE GUIDANCE TO $90 BLN

THEY ARE MINING THE STRAIT AND OIL IS SUB 90 THE TREASURY IS WINNING

EVER SEE A WW2 MINE? FUKKERS ARE THE SIZE OF A VOLKSWAGEN WITH SPIKEY THINGS POKING OUT OF THEM. SCARY AF. LOL OIL $300

#WE ARE GOING TO WITNESS LIVE BATTLEFIELD WITH IRAN LAYING MINES IN THE STRAIT 🤡 🤣 🤣 🤣 I GO FIRST: A5

THE ADULTS ARE PANICING...THE TIME IS NOW🫴

# LOL USA OIL BERS 🐻 THERE ARE MINES IN THE STRAIT 🤡 🤡 🤡

ALGOS REACTING TO THE FACT THERE IS A WAR WHEN IT IGNORED THE FACT THERE IS A WAR SHOWS YOU ALGOS ARE FKN BRAINLESS

THE WHITE HOUSE JUST PROVED THEY ARE LIEING CRIMINAL SACKS OF SHIIT THAT DESERVE TO BE PUT UNDER THE JAIL OIL $300

BEARS ARE BACK BABYYYYYYY

LOL BEARS SO MAD THAT THEY ONLY WIN WHEN THE MARKETS ARE CLOSED LOL STICK TO FUTES

THEY ARE JUST PUMPING IT AGAIN FOR NO REASON ARE YOU FCKING KIDDING ME

My PUTS ARE FUCKED

MY WIFE WILL FUCK MY ASS IF SHE KNOWS MY PUTS ARE DOWN 91%.

the amount of cope from both sides, Bers you may have got f\*\*\*ed , but bols you ARE f\*\*\*ed. Hegseth says they are going to hit Iran the hardest they ever been hit today. \*500 Schoolgirls this time\* Iran survives the night , Straits will still be closed and CPI is going to be above Feds target. you know It ain't so bad being a ber after all.

THE STRAITS ARE AS BARE AS BOLS BANK ACCOUNTS. LOL OIL $300

WE ARE FUCKING BACK BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL BOLS ARE RETARDED.

The G7 OIL WIZARDS ARE STILL CONTEMPLATING

THE PREMARKET PUMP COULD HAVE BEEN TO LURE YOU INTO BUYING PUTS BUT SOMEHOW MM ARE DUMPING M. MAYBE AFTER INSIDE GOOD NEWS. I COULD BE WRONG BUT I THINK WE ARE GOING ULTRAGREEN. HEY AT LEAST I PREDICTED THE INVASION 24H BEFOREHAND. 

NIO YOU ARE THE ONE. full port to valhalla!

FUTURES ARE ALL GREEN!!! Which means we will have the biggest pullback of the month.

THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN

WE ARE IN AN R SHAPED ECONOMY. THE R STANDS FOR REGARDED