BE

"With a little more time, we can easily OPEN THE HORMUZ STRAIT, TAKE THE OIL, & MAKE A FORTUNE. IT WOULD BE A 'GUSHER' FOR THE WORLD???” 2 days ago

BREAKING NEWS : MELANIA WILL BE "ESCORTING" THE SHIPS OUT OF HORMUZ

GONNA BE A FLAT 2 WEEKS OF TRADING GG BOLS BERS

🥭: open the strait or get glassed #PRAISE BE TO ALLAH Said that on Easter as well the man has lost it 😂

PRAISE BE TO SALMA HAYEK, SOMETHING WE CAN ALL GET “BEHIND” TO PRAISE AMIRIGHT? 🍑

PRAISE BE TO ALLAH 

PRAISE BE TO ALLAH ALLAHU AKBAR. This mofo turned into Mike Tyson

Did trump really just truth'd "PRAISE BE TO ALLAH"

> *TRUMP: TUESDAY TO BE POWER PLANT DAY, BRIDGE DAY IN IRAN Taco Tuesday

I know nothing ever happens but the GLORY BE TO GOD tweet made me a little nervous earlier ngl

🥭(the crusader): "HELL WILL REIGN ON THEM. GLORY BE TO GOD" LMAO

GLORY BE TO BEAR

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> With a little more time, we can easily OPEN THE HORMUZ STRAIT, TAKE THE OIL, & MAKE A FORTUNE. IT WOULD BE A “GUSHER” FOR THE WORLD??? "Gusher" in quotes Phrases it as a question 🤌 Never let them know your next move

"VERY SUCCESSFUL TALKS WITH TOP IRANIAN LEADER, WAR WILL BE OVER VERY SOON. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION ON THIS MATTER"

# Since I've made my return, I totally forgot to say this. # MODS BE GAYYYYYY

Do you mean this talk: With a little more time, we can easily OPEN THE HORMUZ STRAIT, TAKE THE OIL, & MAKE A FORTUNE. IT WOULD BE A “GUSHER” FOR THE WORLD??? President DONALD J. TRUMP Good luck with that.

" IT WOULD BE A “GUSHER” FOR THE WORLD??? " Ohhhh awww oh fuck I just fucking threw up everywhere

The inevitable 🥭 truth social post: “WINNERS DONT GET SHOT DOWN. WAR WILL BE OVER IN 2 WEEKS”

IT WOULD BE A “GUSHER” FOR THE BULL PORTS???

> With a little more time, we can easily OPEN THE HORMUZ STRAIT, TAKE THE OIL, & MAKE A FORTUNE. IT WOULD BE A “GUSHER” FOR THE WORLD??? President DONALD J. TRUMP The market is like “oh shit for real?”

*With a little more time, we can easily OPEN THE HORMUZ STRAIT, TAKE THE OIL, & MAKE A FORTUNE. IT WOULD BE A “GUSHER” FOR THE WORLD??? President DONALD J. TRUMP* I thought everyone else was supposed to go and get it?

I HAVE NO MOVES TOMORROW MODS - I HAVE TO BE A REAL HUMAN BEING! I HAVE KIDS. ONE’S ON SPRING BREAK GODDAMNIT. DADDY NEEDS TO GAMBLE. EDIT: NO IM NOT SHOUTING, THIS IS JUST HOW I TALK

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BREAKING NEWS : MELANIA WILL BE "ESCORTING" THE SHIPS IN HORMUZ

I'll be banned for five days. I want to warn and remind you for the 100the time to: NOT BE A SPACEX BAGHOLDER! When it ipos. Peace and puts.

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I WILL NOT BE USED FOR MY PHALLUS!

>IRAN'S MILITARY SPOKESMAN SHEKARCHI: STRAIT OF HORMUZ WILL BE CLOSED LONG-TERM TO US & ISRAEL 😮

What the Facken shit, today was the day I was gonna make my money back. AND THIS SHIT WENT UP. WHY IS IT NOT GOING DOWN WONT GAS BE LIKE 7 DOLLARS SOON. IF OIL IS UP WHY IS SILVER AND GOLD NOT CRASHING ATLEAST Cmon snap just go below 4.50, atleast let my .01 puts print a dollar

# SOME OF YOU >!BOLS 🌈 🐂!< ARE GOING TO BE LIQUIDATED TODAY AND THAT'S OKAY. 🤡 🤡 🤡

JUST HAD A GREAT TALK WITH MR IRAN. ALL IS COOL. STRAIGHT TO BE OPENED WITHIN MINUTES. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! SPY+4%

I HAVE JUST NEGOTIATED A DEAL* WITH THE IRGC JANITOR AND THE STRAIT WILL BE OPEN FOR EASTER! - 🥭 SPY 700 *: we are lifting all sanctions and using US taxpayer money to pay reparations for my stupid ass war and looking the other way about their nukes from now on

BREAKING NEWS : MELANIA WILL BE "ESCORTING" THE SHIPS FROM HORMUZ

# MY ZSL AND XLE ARE GOING TO BE GREEN LIKE NO ONE HAS EVER SEEN BEFORE, SO GREEN, PEOPLE ARE SAYING “SIR, HOW IS YOUR STONKS SO GREEN?” ITS REMARKABLE, REALLY, AND NONE OF YOU RETARDS COULD EVER HAVE DONE IT, EVER.

#"ALL THAT'S GOING TO BE LEFT IS NUCLEAR WASTE AND HUMAN ASHES" WTF

HE BE RAMBLIN N MUMBLIN

MIDNIGHT CRASH THE MARKET SO I CAN BE RICH

I DON'T WANT TO BE ON THE GROUND!!!

Donnie D dropping the famous line one more time. NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO BUY

I SHOULD BE THE RECIPIENT OF THE SECOND ANNUAL FIFA PEACE PRIZE THERE I SAID IT

I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT ALL MAGIC CARPETS TO BE MADE IN THE USA

I AM EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE I HAVE COMPLETED A LINKEDIN CERTIFICATE FOR OPTIMIZING CLIENT RELATIONSHIP TRAINING SIGMA SIX BLACK BELT FOR TEST RESPONSE LEARNING PROCESSES. I WILL BE ABLE TO DRIVE POSITIVE CHANGE WITH FOSTERING A CULTURE OF INNOVATION THROGH ADAPTABILITY. CONGRATULATE ME.

US PRESIDENT URGED NATO NAVIES TO HELP REOPEN STRAIT OF HORMUZ BUT EUROPEAN CAPITALS REFUSED, SAYING IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE DURING ONGOING CONFLICT & "NOT OUR WAR" - FT TRUMP RESPONDED BY THREATENING TO CUT OFF SUPPLIES TO PURL, NATO'S ARMS PROCUREMENT EFFORT FOR UKRAINE BACKED BY EUROPEAN NATIONS – FT

> IRANIAN OFFICIAL MEHDI TABATABAI: AN IMPORTANT LETTER BY PRESIDENT PEZESHKIAN TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WILL BE RELEASED IN A FEW HOURS

‘APRIL FOOLS, IT WAS A BULL TRAP THE WHOLE TIME. NOW TOMORROW WILL BE A -5% DAY LOL’ MMs at closing because they’re the biggest fucking clowns around

PRIDE COMETH BEFORE THE FALL. WHEN THIS MARKET TANKS YOU WILL ALL BE KISSING MY ASS LIKE BIN SALMAN

PLEASE FASTEN YOU SEAT BELTS AS WE BEGIN OUR DECENT. WE ARE EXPERIENCING SIGNIFICANT TURBULENCE AND IT WILL BE A HARSH LANDING. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR FLIGHT ✈️✈️✈️

Some megachad just dropped nearly $10 million on ATM 5/15 BE puts.

> 3 SENIOR AMERICANS TOLD ME THAT NEGOTIATIONS ARE UNDERWAY BETWEEN THE US AND IRAN ON A CEASEFIRE IN EXCHANGE FOR OPENING THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ. ACCORDING TO THEM, IT'S STILL UNCLEAR WHETHER A DEAL CAN BE REACHED. - AXIOS REPORTER Axios is owned by Adnan Khashoggi's son-in-law and daughter lol