BE

IM A BULL AND IM PROUD TO BE A BULL

WAIT TO DUMP UNTIL OPTIONS CAN BE TRADED 🤬🤬

#TODAY IS GONNA BE AN EXTREMELY PROFITABLE DAY FOR YOU April fools

IRAN: THE HORMUZ WILL OPEN, BUT NOT FOR YOU. IT WILL BE OPEN TO THOSE WHO FOLLOWS IRANS NEW LAWS They just implemented a law that ships will get taxed going through the hormuz. Bullish af

BREAKING NEWS: CPI DATA WILL BE OUT THIS MORNING AT 8:30

TOMORROW SHALL BE A RED DAY! BY ORDER OF THE PEEEKY BLINDERS!

SOURCES SAY THE SPEECH TOMORRO WILL BE ABOUT THE BALLROOM NOT IRAN WAR lmaooooo

MANGO: “ALL I HAVE TO DO IS LEAVE IRAN AND OIL PRICES WILL COME TUMBLING DOWN, AND WE’LL BE DOING THAT VERY SOON”

WHITE HOUSE OFFICIAL: PRESIDENT TRUMP CONFIDENT AN AGREEMENT WILL BE REACHED SOON - AL JAZEERA I am confident an agreement will be made to get me a girlfriend soon

***MOFOS IN CHAT REALLY BE LIKE “I TOLD YOU ALL ____ YESTERDAY!!” BUT THEN THEY HAVE THEIR COMMENTS HIDDEN*** 🤣 🤣

ORANGE SAID WAR WILL BE OVER SOON WE ARE BACK PAMP IT UP

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! PLEASE TAKE UR SEATS! THE RUG PULL WILL BE STARTING IN 5 MINS! PLEASE ENJOY THE SHOW!

>IRAN'S IRGC: ISSUED A WARNING AGAINST 18 AMERICAN TECHNOLOGY COMPANIES, AMONG THEM MICROSOFT, APPLE, GOOGLE, INTEL, AND BOEING, STATING THAT THEY WILL BE CONSIDERED LEGITIMATE TARGETS Can you hit the dominos pizzas too? Their pizza is trash

#I CAN SEE THAT ITS GREEN BUT EVERY CELL IN MY BODY IS TELLING ME THAT MOFO IS LYING AND IT SHOULD BE RED

HOLD THE LINE BERS !!!! BOLS WILL BE FUK

i'll go against the stream and say "BE the exit liquidity"

MY CALLS WILL BE FUCKED, STOP HIM

PUT YOUR HANDS UP sck178!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I’M DONE HIDING NOW IM SHINING LIKE I WAS BORN TO BE

PUT YOUR HANDS UP Special_North1535!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

LET THE WHORE MOOSE BE

PUT YOUR HANDS UP Derpy_Mc_Burpy!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

#THE GOLDEN AGE OF AMERICA, MIGHT BE PISS

🫲🏻I ONLY KNOW HOW TO BE OBSESSED WCC🫱🏻

TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER, I AM SURE

ITS NEVER GOING TO BE GREEN EVER AGAIN

BREAKING NEWS IRAN STATES MU BAGHOLDERS WILL BE SENTENCED TO DEATH

JESUS GONNA BE SO MAD THIS WEEKEND

If he really bombs all the energy plants and shuts off water and power to 50 million, we go down instantly 5%? What do you think? It HAS TO BE a bluff?

WHITE HOUSE: TRUMP WOULD BE INTERESTED IN CALLING ON ARAB COUNTRIES TO HELP PAY FOR COST OF WAR Just like Mexico paid for the wall… wait -

I WAS TOLD THERE WOULD BE PUNCH AND PIE

BEARS BE BEARIN LOL

BOOLS R IN SHAMBLES HORMUZ WILL BE OPEN AFTER WE LEAVE, WITH US OR COALITION ESCORTS translation. u may still get fucked but our big ships will try our best to help protect u man either Iran overthrows IRGC with civil war or nuke the shit outta iran. else straits will be risky af

PUT YOUR HANDS UP hardcrepe!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

TRUMP ON TRUTH SOCIAL: THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS IN SERIOUS DISCUSSIONS WITH A NEW, AND MORE REASONABLE, REGIME TO END OUR MILITARY OPERATIONS IN IRAN. GREAT PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE BUT, IF FOR ANY REASON A DEAL IS NOT SHORTLY REACHED, WHICH IT PROBABLY WILL BE, AND IF THE HORMUZ STRAIT IS NOT IMMEDIATELY “OPEN FOR BUSINESS,” WE WILL CONCLUDE OUR LOVELY “STAY” IN IRAN BY BLOWING UP AND COMPLETELY OBLITERATING ALL OF THEIR ELECTRIC GENERATING PLANTS, OIL WELLS AND KHARG ISLAND (AND POSSIBLY ALL DESALINIZATION PLANTS!), WHICH WE HAVE PURPOSEFULLY NOT YET “TOUCHED.” THIS WILL BE IN RETRIBUTION FOR OUR MANY SOLDIERS, AND OTHERS, THAT IRAN HAS BUTCHERED AND KILLED OVER THE OLD REGIME’S 47 YEAR “REIGN OF TERROR.” THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP

PUT YOUR HANDS UP Mediocre_Pangolin572!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

PUT YOUR HANDS UP PalsRocksMyWorld!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

BEARS ARE GOING TO BE REALLY CONFUSED WHY THEY'RE GETTING FUCKED TOMORROW LMAO

Holy shit everyone is so retarded…the 20 tankers he is talking about are the 20 Pakistani tankers from that news story over 24 hours ago. THERE IS NOT ANOTHER 20 TANKERS THAT YOU SHOULD BE WAITING FOR

*CARNIVAL CRUISE SHIPS WILL ONCE AGAIN BE ABLE TO VACATION IN THE STRAIGHT*

CUBA'S GONNA BE NEXT what the hell do we want to exploit from cuba again?

buy the dip THERE ARE NOT GOING TO BE BOOTS ON THE GROUND for the simple fact THERE ARE NO FUNCTIONING PORT FACILITIES TO HANDLE A SEALIFT FOR HEAVY VEHICLES AND SUPPLIES and no you can not fly them there all you amateur armchair generals know zero about logistics

I don't use a seat cover when I take a shit at a public restroom. # I WANT MY ASS TO BE THE ONE PEOPLE FEAR 😈

Market since yesterday: "OH LAWD, I THINK HE MIGHT BE LYING THIS ENTIRE TIME...." # ꉂ(˵˃ ᗜ ˂˵) [^(KEEN TOCKY)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJOiIRuF0CA&t=4339s)

STOCKS ARE GONNA BE A ROCKET SHIP - 🥭 

# HE IS GOING TO BE NEXT AMERICAN EAGLE MODEL SWEENEY YOUR OUT

***BRO HE IS THIS BAD NOW, JUST IMAGINE HOW HE WILL BE IN 2 MORE YEARS. YIKES***

# DONT READ OUT LOUD OR YOU WILL BE DEPORTED STRAIGHT TO IRAN

BREAKING BREAKING TRUMP ADMINISTRATION SIGNS WAR DEAL WITH IRAN THE STRAIGHT IS SET TO BE BLOW THE FUCK UP BUT PLANS ARE PAUSED IRAN CONFIRMS THERE NEVER WAS A STRAIGHT OF HORMUZ ANYWAY REALITY IS A SIMULUATION THANK YOU

BREAKING: TRUMP ADMINISTRATION SIGNS MULTI-LATERAL PEACE DEAL WITH IRAN, UAE, ISRAEL, and OMAN. STRAIGHT IS SET TO BE REOPENED PER FINALIZED DEAL, EXPECTED BY LATE SUNDAY NIGHT. \-AXIOS