BE

BREAKING: TRUMP ADMINISTRATION SIGNS MULTI-LATERAL PEACE DEAL WITH IRAN, UAE, ISRAEL, and OMAN. STRAIGHT IS SET TO BE REOPENED PER FINALIZED DEAL, EXPECTED BY LATE SUNDAY NIGHT. \-AXIOS

TRUMP: BARON TO BE FIRST BOOTS ON GROUND

1 minute after Friday market close: WE WILL BE NUKING IRAN. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

One day his tweets are gonna BE IRRELEVANT to the market. **Today might have been the first day of that.**

#I THOUGH WE WERE GONNA BE TIRED OF ALL THE WINNING DAME IT

##THERE WILL BE No boots ON THE GROUND! ##only military grade surplus footwear on the ground.

TRUMP TALKS IN LIKE 10 MINS FAIR WARNING IF YOU HAVE USO CALLS LIKE I DO, THERE IS A BIG CHANCE TRUMP SAYS SOMETBING THAT DROPS OIL. BE CAREFUL

PUTIN: THE CONSEQUENCES OF A WAR WITH IRAN MAY BE AS SEVERE AS THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC. I trust this guy more than my president[](https://x.com/FirstSquawk/status/2037429474028048638)

WHERE’S MSFT BAGHOLDER SUBREDDIT? ID LIKE TO BE A COMMUNITY MEMBER

HOLY SHIT BE BROKE THRU 640

COULD BE 600 SPY EOD

PUT YOUR HANDS UP PutVivid6052!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

TO SECURE OUR FINANCIAL STABILITY AND WEALTH AND AT THE SAME TIME BE ABLE TO CONTINUE WITH SPECIAL OPERATION I BOUGHT MILLIONS OF PUTS.

#🥭'S FACE AND SIGNATURE ABOUT TO BE ON ALL US CURRENCY. YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP LOL

LET IT BE KNOWN THAT ANYONE WHO HURTS u/31andnotdone’s FEELINGS HAS TO ANSWER TO ME 😡😡

>HOUSE SPEAKER JOHNSON: IRAN SITUATION CAN BE RESOLVED WITHOUT GROUND FORCES The war will continue until the debt is devalued

MARKET BROS WONT BE COMING OUT OF THIS DIP SOON

Buy BE or NBIS

BE and NBIS are no brainers for shares

LMAO IF HE CAN REALLY TACO A WAR THIS GONNA BE THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER

BOL CAPITULATION DAY ONLY THE DUMBEST OF THE DUMBEST WILL STILL BE HOLDING BAGS FOR BOOTS ON THE GROUND THIS WEEKEND

> US SECRETARY OF STATE RUBIO: HORMUZ COULD BE REOPENED TOMORROW IF IRAN PERMITTED IT Lmao

RUBIO: HORMUZ COULD BE OPENED TOMORROW IF IRAN ALLOWED IT Nah bro im done with all these imbeciles I lose brain cells every single day

BREAKING: $META TO BE LISTED NEXT MONTH ON RUSSEL 2000

WHAT A TIME LINE TO BE ALIVE THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

NOOO GOOGL YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE

> *TRUMP: WHO WOULDN'T BE LOWERING INTEREST RATES RIGHT NOW? Anyone with a brain? Lmao

IF CHAPPELL ROAN WAS PRETTIER, THE MARKETS WOULD BE GREEN RIGHT NOW

SENIOR IRANIAN OFFICIAL REPORTEDLY JUST TOLD REUTERS: - THERE IS STILL NO ARRANGEMENT FOR NEGOTIATIONS AND NO PLAN FOR TALKS APPEARS REALISTIC AT THIS STAG - DIPLOMACY HAS NOT STOPPED, AND IF REALISM PREVAILS IN WASHINGTON, A PATH FORWARD MAY STILL BE FOUND

> SENIOR IRANIAN OFFICIAL TO REUTERS: DIPLOMACY HAS NOT STOPPED, AND IF REALISM PREVAILS IN WASHINGTON, A PATH FORWARD MAY STILL BE FOUND

PUT YOUR HANDS UP mustachechap!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

#WHOS PORT IS RED BE HONEST

LOOK AT THE PREMARKET. THEY ARE GONNA BE FAKE AF

UGANDA BE KIDDING ME!

EXPENSES INCURRED BLOWING A LOAD WHILE TRADING SHOULD BE TAX DEDUCTIBLE SINCE IT IS MEDICALLY RELATED TO MAINTAING ANXIETY LEVELS AND KEEPS HOSPITAL VISITS TO A MINIMUM.

Did they force you to use the Internet at work? NO Did they force you to use Google at work? NO Did they force you to use cell phone for work? NO Did they force you to use smarphone for work? NO Did they force you to use mobile apps at work? NO Did they force you to use Excel/Outlook/Chat at work? NO Did they force you to use a VPN for work? NO **WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT AI THAT IT´S BEING PUSHED FROM THE TOP DOWN TO BE USED FOR WORK?**

#MSFT IS COOKED Windows OS is no longer the clearly superior choice. Gsuite is replacing Office Applications even in the government and more traditional enterprises. Copilot is dogshit. Azure is inflated due to bookings related to OpenAI and lumping in numerous other services. XBOX lost to Playstation. Activision / Blizzard is a thing of the past. #DON'T BE A REGARD... DON'T BUY MSFT UNLESS YOU LIKE LOSING

THIS WEEKEND WILL BE EPIC LOCK IN USO CALLS

WH PRESS SEC. LEAVITT: NO IRAN PEACE NEGOTIATIONS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED FORMAL YET Guess they did dress someone up to talk to him lol

IM GNA BE RICH OFF PUTS

BE BEST THEY STILL HAVE THAT SLOGAN ☠️☠️

I AM ANNOUNCING WE WILL NOW BE USING BEEF TALLOW INSTEAD OF OIL!!!

I THINK WE ALL WOULD BE BETTER OFF TOUCHING GRASS FOR THE NEXT MONTH THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

# SPY WILL BE TOO SOON LMFAOOOOOOOOO

THE VOYAGER PROBE USES RADIOISOTOPE THERMOELECTRIC GENERATORS TO POWER ON BOARD INSTRUMENTS AND WILL CONTINUE FUNCTIONING FOR ANOTHER DECADE. IT WILL NOT BE AFFECTED BY THE OIL CRISIS. WITHOUT THE WONDERS OF NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY WE WOULDN’T HAVE SUCH CLEAR PICTURES OF URANUS

NO MORE HIDING NOW IM SHINING LIKE I WAS BORN TO BE

AS NEW TOP MOD OF WSB AS MY FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS I WILL ENACT: THE FEET ACT — FAIR EXPOSURE OF EXTREMITIES TRANSPARENCY ACT ALL USERS MUST SUBMIT FEET PICS TO ME AND ONLY THEN WILL THEY BE PERMITTED TO POST HERE THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

I HAVE SENT WSB MODS A 15 POINT PLAN ON HOW I WILL TAKE OVER WSB. NEGOTIATIONS ARE GOING VERY WELL. SOON ALL OF THIS WILL BE MINE AND YOU SHALL PRAISE ME AS YOUR BENEVOLENT LEADER

SOUTH KOREA BEGINS FUEL RATIONING AND DRIVING BANS PEOPLE CAN ONLY DRIVE ONE DAY PER WEEK AND WILL BE ENFORCED WITH LICENSE PLATE READERS[](https://x.com/nyprepper1/status/2036537256559693827)

> ONE-MONTH CEASEFIRE TO BE ANNOUNCED UNDER MECHANISM BEING DEVELOPED BY WITKOFF & KUSHNER