BE

AMZN WILL, IF THEY LAYOFF 1MILLION WORKS THE ANNUAL ADJUSTMENT WILL BE $2.0MILL FOR THE BLS

ISRAELI CHANNEL 12: ONE-MONTH CEASEFIRE TO BE ANNOUNCED UNDER MECHANISM BEING DEVELOPED BY WITKOFF & KUSHNER This market is crazy.. pumping and dumping every hour on some random news.

> ISRAELI CHANNEL 12: ONE-MONTH CEASEFIRE TO BE ANNOUNCED UNDER MECHANISM BEING DEVELOPED BY WITKOFF & KUSHNER Lmao, Israel is out of interceptors. Iran just hit central Israel. They're trying to delay until they can be resupplied. I don't think Iran is going to slow down.

ISRAELI CHANNEL 12: ONE-MONTH CEASEFIRE TO BE ANNOUNCED UNDER MECHANISM BEING DEVELOPED BY WITKOFF & KUSHNER

Bers saw the Covid pandemic shutter business worldwide and the market probably dipped like 15% meanwhile they believe THIS WILL BE THE END OF GLOBAL ECONOMIC ACTIVITY THIS TIME FOR REAL

>TEHRAN STATED IN ITS LETTER THAT SHIPS ASSOCIATED WITH THE US, ISRAEL, OR OTHER PARTIES INVOLVED IN THE CONFLICT WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED AS HAVING “INNOCENT” OR “NON-HOSTILE” PASSAGE - FT isn't this the same thing they've been saying for weeks

WHAT ROOM DO I HAVE TO BE IN

My god just DUMP IT NO REASON FOR IT TO BE GREEN

YOU WILL NOT BE S.P.A.R.E.D B E N D O V E R, N O W !!! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 🫱(‿¤‿)🫲

always liquidate! at times like this, NO BE REGARDED

# SURE WOULD BE A SHAME IF TODAY WAS A COVER RALLY AND BULLS END UP GETTING BENT OVER A TABLE AND RAPED TOMORROW

#BRO BE LIKE WOW IRAN YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO CLOSE THE STRAIGHT OF HHOMOZ

curde oil >=100 go short crude oil <=90 go long thanks, thats 100 dollars for the "HOW TO BE A PROFITABLE RETARD" course

I DEMAND ALL WSB MODS BE BANNED AND I BE MADE RULER OF WSBS

I DEMAND ALL PREVIOUS COMMENTS BE DELETED SO THAT I CAN BE FIRST

If we get a “BE COOL! Everything is going to work out” truth bolz are indeed fucked.

🥭: DEAL COULD BE WITHIN 5 DAYS We will see ATH today

THERE ARE INITIATIVES TO DECREASE TENSIONS BUT OUR RESPONSE IS THAT U.S. SHOULD BE THE INTERLOCUTOR AS WE DID NOT INITIATE THE WAR: IRAN'S MEHR So there are talks then, back to ripping

I AM PLEASE TO ANMOUNCE THE US WILL NOT BE BOMBING IRAN POWER INFRASTRUCTURE BECAUSE ISRAEL IS ALREADY DOING IT. ONE OF THEIR DEAD LEADERS WAS SEEN HOLDING A WHITE HANKERCHIEF IN SATELLITE PHOTOS WHICH I AM CONSIDERING AS TOTAL SURRENDER. ALSO, I TOLD ERIC AND DON JR TO BUY CALLS ON FRIDAY IN ANTICIPATION OF THIS TWEET RIGHT BEFORE THE MARKET OPENS.

I AM ORDERING THE STOCK MARKET BE CLOSED DUE TO FOREIGN MARKET MANIPULATION! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!!

🚨🚨IF YOU’RE HOLDING OPTIONS THROUGH CLOSE TODAY, BE AWARE THAT 🥭’s IRAN ULTIMATUM EXPIRES AT 7:44 PM EST🚨🚨

PUT YOUR HANDS UP FinalbossShaggy!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I hold CSPs of MSTR, ONDS, BE. About 15-20% OTM Should I be worried

So here's what's gonna happen: kinda flat going into PM, then it's gonna be green to give us false hopes, and then 3 minutes after open ITS GONNA BE FUCKIN RED. And you can trust me cuz I'm a scientist. A computer scientist 😎

PUT YOUR HANDS UP MrNewking!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I’m going all ALAB, VRT, MOD, ETN, BW, BE, NVT

SO OBVIOUS WE WILL BE GREEN TOMORROW

PLEASE JESUS LET THERE BE NUCLEAR WAR PLS PLS PLS!!!!!! I WANT SOME REAL NUCLEAR WAR.

The sailors on twitter are being served lobster WHEN OVERNIGHT CAME THE OLD BULLS CAME ON DECK SAYIN FELLAS WELL BE GREEN BY MORNIN AT 7 PM WHEN THE 🌽 CHART CAVED IN HE SAID FELLAS I CANT PAY MY TAXES

I CAN SEE THE FUTURE, TOMORROW WILL BE GREEN 🪀🪀🪀🪀⛳️⛳️🇧🇷🇨🇨🇨🇨🇲🇴🇲🇴🐸🐸✅ 

> U.S. WARNS IT MAY BE FORCED TO LAUNCH GROUND OPERATION TO CAPTURE IRAN'S KHARG ISLAND, OFFICIALS TELL COUNTERPARTS - JERUSALEM POST Lol, Israel really wants America to invade Iran for them. It's kind of amazing how much effort they put into framing it like the US's choice.

##STRAIGHT OF HORMUZ TO BE PURCHASED BY TESLA FOR $500BILLION IN CASH

I ORDERED TWO BOTTLES OF WOODFORD RESERVE. THEY SHOULD BE HERE SOON. YOU CANT EVEN FIND BOURBON IN COLOMBIA ITS HARD

CASHFLOW FUNDING ANNOUNCEMENT DUE TO RECENT FUNDING SHORTFALLS ICE WILL NOW BE IN CHARGE OF MY SHITPOSTING. PLEASE ACT ACCORDINGLY AND HAVE DOCUMENTATION READY TO PROVE YOU ARE LEGAL THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

🚨ICE MIGHT BE DEPLOYED TO AIRPORTS 🚨 Fuck yeah, this is really going to ease the energy crisis and take the market out of correction territory. Calls it is. DOW to 50,000 next week. We’re all going to be so rich because of this.

I WILL TAKE YOU TO THE KEYMAKER BUT YOUBHAVE TO GIVE ME A KISS FIRST AND IT HAS TO BE GOOD

I sell options, not buy them, so I'm up a lot. Thanks, regards! Don't visit the casino. BE the casino.

WHAT A TIME LINE TO BE ALIVE

THE DOW WILL BE 100,000 BY THE END OF MY TERM

NOW IS A GREAT TIME TO BE BROKE

THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ HAS ITS OWN MYSTICAL ENERGY. THE SOULS OF OUR GREAT ANCESTORS RESIDE THERE. IT SHOULD BE NAMED THE 9TH WONDER OF THE WORLD. OR IT COULD JUST BE A SECRET UNDERWATER ALIEN BASE WHICH WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT.

SP500 SHOULD BE AROUND 625ish TO MATCH THE DOW JONES PULLBACK BY COMPARISON SPY COMING DOWN MORE

A V WOULD BE REALLY NICE RIGHT NOW

"Quintuple witching day DOOD, ITS GONNA BE HUGE DOOD" You mother fuckers made me lose a fuck ton

OPEN THE CASINO MY PORT IS GONNA BE GREEEN

TODAYS GONNA BE GREEN AND THERES NOTHING U CAN DO ABOUT IT BERS

OH MY GOD I AM NERVOUS, I HAVE A HIGH AMOUNT OF PUTS AND MIGHT BE ABLE TO END MY JOB IF SPY STAYS DOWN TILL OPEN

EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE JUST FINE TODAY. AAAAAAAAARGH.

HOW DO I APPLY TO BE A MARKET MAKER? DO I NEED TO PASS THE LOW IQ TEST?

SMCI BAGHOLDERS. YOU GOTTA BE IN SHAMBLES