UP

PUT YOUR HANDS UP Silver-Orchid-1339!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Typical 2026 Monday: Oil prices 8% UP, US president beefing with the pope, New AI model threatening cyber security, Hormuz Blockade of the Hormuz Blockade. I guess, flattening the curve Mondays weren't that bad after all

govt running 6-7% budget deficit - so liquidity is massive. Keep living at the expense of future generations so kids will never be able to afford housing unless their parents are wealthy. Sp500 cant go down much with 6-7% deficit (stimulus) even with oil at $100+ The whole system is a joke, UP only. 123% debt to GDP.

PLTR UP SO MUCH IN PRE MARKET. What’s the news???

PUT YOUR HANDS UP Micheal_Hancho!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

# STOCKS. ONLY. GO. UP. End +.03 tomorrow on news we nuked Iran and invaded Greenland.

PUT YOUR HANDS UP Initial_Attitude_980!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

PUT YOUR HANDS UP Waste-Head7963!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

SHORT MSFT. ABSOLUTE GARBAGE, WILL DROP EVEN IF MARKET GOES UP. SHORT SHORT SHORT

MODS JUST PASSED THE STRAIT BLOCKADE AND GOT THE DAILY THREAD UP!

“CRUDE OIL FUTURES ARE NOT UP AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE, HONESTLY” -DJT

Market last Tuesday: QUICK SEND IT UP 3% THERES NO WAY ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG! Lmao

# BERS RISE UP 🚀 🚀 🚀 🤡 🤡 🤡

*TRUMP: FRANKLY, GAS PRICE HASN'T GONE UP AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT

PUT YOUR HANDS UP Comfortable733!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Weekend oil is UP 👀👀

look i dont care about the strait but if you dont open it I WILL END YOU. still, i dont care. whatever. but OPEN THE FUCK UP. im gona go read a book. IT BETTER BE OPEN WHEN I GET BACK.

# MARKET CAN ONLY GO UP FROM HERE. BUY EVERY SINGLE DIP. EVERY SINGLE ONE. WE RIP INTO THE MIDTERMS FROM HERE

Israel heard the final round of talks were starting and said LET ME FUCK THIS SHIT UP > Intense fighter jet activity reported over central and northern Lebanon.

#YA’LL BETTER PUT UP OR SHUT UP BEFORE YOU BECOME A PART OF THE PERMANENT UNDERCLASS

It is Saturday and I am BULLED UP

Very interestingly, however, empty Oil carrying ships from many Nations are all heading to the United States of America to LOAD UP with Oil. Thank you for your attention to this matter! Yesterday was PLTR- tomorrow it’s WTI futures - go 🥭

TDS! LOSING, LOSING BIG! LOAD UP

I want to shove the universe UP.

PUT YOUR HANDS UP f0xinaround!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

SPY CREEPING UP

SHUT UP 679 IS HAPPENING OR THEY EDGING

THE MARKET ALWAYS GOES UP. STAY ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY

MICROSOFT GO UP YOU STUPID SACK OF FUC…. wait it’s green… wait what?

WHY STOCK GO UP WHEN INFLATION HIGHER THAN EXPECTED? ISNT THIS A RATE HIKE SCENARIO? CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN IT TO ME

Who ever tf YOLO MRVL couple months ago is UP AS FUCK.

with that 0.9% inflation rate, IT CAN'T GO UP

WAKE UP IT'S CPI DAY U PSSY

BABE WAKE UP ANOTHER PUMP FOR NO REASON

PUT YOUR HANDS UP AdCritical5383!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

MICROSOFT GO UP YOU FUCKING SACK OF STUPID FUCKING LIMP DICK SHIT sorry, practicing for tomorrow.

"IRGC: IRAN'S ARMED FORCES HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOT CARRIED OUT ANY LAUNCHES TOWARD ANY COUNTRY DURING THE CEASEFIRE HOURS UP TO THIS MOMENT" Man - these guys really want a ceasefire.

Economy so bad I got a second (part time) email job. Definitely not because I live for the number in my port going UP and this market is RETARDED

new paradigm UP ONLY

PUT YOUR HANDS UP supercrossed!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

PUT YOUR HANDS UP supercrossed!!! POLICE ARE ENROUTE! PREPARE TO BE BOOKED FOR PROVIDING ILLEGAL FINANCIAL ADVICE! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/wallstreetbets) if you have any questions or concerns.*

LISTEN UP REGARDS, THIS IS NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE (it absolutely is) You think the CPI print matters? PRICED IN. You think the Fed rate decision matters? PRICED IN. You think your dad leaving for cigarettes and never coming back emotionally scarred you and affects your risk tolerance? BROTHER THAT SHIT WAS PRICED IN BEFORE YOU WERE BORN. I went ALL IN on 0DTE SPY puts this morning because Mercury is in retrograde and my horoscope said “avoid financial decisions.” Inverse that shit, we’re eating. My thesis is airtight: the chart looked squiggly, my cat walked across the keyboard, and the number went down then up then I blacked out. Bears think they’re so fucking smart. “Ooh the economy is overleveraged.” “Ooh commercial real estate is a ticking time bomb.” Cool story, the market has been climbing a wall of your tears since 2009 you miserable doomers. BEARS EAT GARBAGE AND HIBERNATE. That’s your mascot. A GARBAGE EATING NAPPER. But don’t get it twisted — bulls are just bears who got lucky and forgot. The only difference between a bull and a bear is one theta decay cycle and a Fed speaker going off script. I don’t diversify. Diversification is for people who want to preserve wealth. I am here to either MULTIPLY wealth by 4000% or explain to my wife’s boyfriend why the Wendy’s drive-thru only goes one way and I’ll be applying to work the other side of the window. My portfolio is 100% 0DTE. I don’t believe in expiration dates beyond today because frankly I’m not emotionally equipped to plan that far ahead. Tomorrow is a THEORY. What’s REAL is this ask/bid spread and my shaking hands at 9:31 AM. In conclusion: YOLO. Calls on nothing. Puts on everything. Theta is just time telling you you’re wrong slowly. We are all going to make it, except the ones who don’t, and they were bears anyway. 🚀🐻🔥💀 Positions: yes

# MODS TOO BUSY HAVING A GAY ORGY THAT THEY FORGOT TO PUT UP THE NEW DAILY

SPX NOW UP 7 DAYS IN A ROW BUT Last 5 Fridays were red. What do you think will happen tomorrow?

Can we all agree that headlines about market fears and sentiment is a bunch of fucking bullshit. I’ve seen the market go down 1-2% over some shit like this. ALGO: OHHH IM SCAREDDDD TIME TO DUMP, OH WHATS THAT A MADE UP PEACEDEAL? ACTIVATE PLUNGE PROTECTION NOW

🥭PUT a green candle UP my ass 🌈🐻

Oil you say? THEN GREASE ME UP WOMAN..!

OIL UP ECONOMIC DATA BAD ECONOMIC ANXIETY HIGH WAR ON, CEASE-FIRE SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP SPY ROCKETSHIP.

The whole market UP. MSFT -1.5 % down trying to reach 370 haha embarrassing